Sunday, December 21, 2008

Gone But Not Fogotten

Nike was my first dog. I had always wanted a big dog and saw an ad for Great Pyrenese puppies in the paper and much to my parents displeasure went and got one and brought it home. Being my first dog I had no idea what I was doing so she was bad, if she liked you she loved you but if she did not like you she made sure you knew it. All of her bad habits where no ones fault but my own, I did not research the breed of dog, had no idea about obedience and pretty much let her do what she wanted, but she loved me and that was all I cared about.

Then one year right before Christmas she developed a lump in her foot which turned out to be cancer. I weighed out the options on what to do as this type of cancer was not curable and would eventually lead to her passing within a few months. In the end I decided to have her leg amputated and she was with me for almost another year. The day she passed away was the saddest day. I knew she was not doing well and that soon a decision had to be made, my mom and I had planned a trip to Vegas and I decided that once we got back I would have to make that decision. While we where gone she went to stay with my grandparents, her second favorite place in the world to be, and the day we where leaving Vegas to come home I got a call from my grandma to let me know that Nike had passed away in her sleep. I was relieved and devastated at the same time, relieved because she went peacefully in her sleep but devastate that I was not there and did not get the chance to say goodbye. Its been 3 years now since she passed away and I know now she is happy, at peace and one day I will get to be with her again, but I still miss her terribly.

I Stood By Your Bed(Canine version)
I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep. I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear, "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more. I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care. I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me."You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair. I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday. To say to you with certainty, "I never went away. "You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew ... in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning and say "goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide, I'll rush across to greet you and again I will be by your side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.
Author Unknown