Enough

This past year I have had to say goodbye four times, each time harder than the last. No because I loved one more than the other, but because I have not really had a chance to recover from the last one. Just when the crying every time I think of the previous one starts to be less and less, I am forced to say goodbye again. Sophie was hard to say goodbye to, very hard. I knew it was coming and even knowing does not make it any easier. We only had 3 short years together and that was definatley not enough. I am so thankful I have been home full-time the past few months as it gave me that much more time with her. After she passed away someone sent me an email and it really got me thinking of just how special she really was and really made me feel a bit better......

"I'm so sorry to hear about Sophie. She is such a sweet girl. You gave her the best years of her life, she didnt die in a shelter because of you. I guess that leaves you to hurt. I cant even imagine the roller coaster of emotions that has been your year. The really cool thing is that Sophie got to be the momma to the best thing this year in your life! She just wanted to make sure you could handle that role before she left, I guess she could see you had it under control :) I can't wait for our babies to grow up in rescue and see what we do. Learn compassion, forgiveness, and that life is precious."


I have said this many times this year that I will never get another pet, as it is too hard to say goodbye, but as much as I know the hurt, I know the love too and if another Sophie came along I would not hesitate.

So thank you to all my rescue friends for their kind words, long talks helping me to feel better about my decision and most of all thank you to Wendy for the beautiful pictures of my girl, I will cherise these forever!

My Old Friend

My Old Friend

Today I said goodbye to my old friend

I pray someday we get to meet again

Under one more clear blue sky

Up there where the eagles fly.

And we'll go walking in the sunshine

With a big smile on our face

Race the river to the ocean

Go splashing in the waves

And I'll wrap my arms around you

We'll be together once again

And I'll tell you how much I missed you

My old friend

Yeah I know you're up there looking down

On the rainbow bridge we talked about

There's a place for me and you

Somewhere up there behind the moon.

~Johnny Reid~

Trying to find hope

Sophie had a episode on Tuesday, I am not sure if it was a stroke, seizure or fainting as I only caught the tail end of it. She was in her room and I heard a loud thump to find her unresponsive and stiff on the floor. Within a few minutes and several frantic phone calls to anyone that would answer she got up and seemed fine. Ate her dinner, followed me around while I made supper begging for food, her usual self.


We got up Wednesday morning and she was a little less happy but still took treats and seemed ok for the most part. I called and made her an appointment for Thursday just to have her checked out to make sure everything was ok. By Wednesday afternoon she had gone downhill fast. She swayed when she walked, I had to carry her in from outside as she would just lay there and not get up and she was not eating. I took her in to the vet Wednesday night and after 2 hours and 2 different vets looking at her there is still no answers. They gave me some pain medication and I took her home as I knew she would be more comfortable here.


She was pretty groggy for the rest of the evening as a result of the meds and just slept on her bed. Thursday morning a bit back to her usual self, went outside on her own and ate some wet food that I gave her. This continued for the rest of Thursday and all day Friday.....until after she ate her dinner and we are back at square one. She does not want to eat again and is depressed.

I am not sure what to do anymore, I have spent a bunch already with no answers and its irritating the hell out of me. I have lost 3 already this year and have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach this will be number 4. I am now have a baby who lets me get sleep during the night but rather I lay awake worrying about Sophie. I am trying to find hope but I think it was all used up on Rylee and Archie, and in the end there was none for them.

The Boy & The Dog

Nik thinks Sophie wants to cuddle....

Sophie actually wants him off her damn couch....

I think they both are too cute...

Bad Momma

Why is Sophie dressed like this you ask.....because she is BAD!

Well almost a week after her surgery she scratched the incision and ripped apart 3 stitches and now has a gaping hole. We went to the vet who said to just keep flushing it out and eventually it will close itself up.

But how do you stop her from scratching?? Trust me its impossible, I am so freaking frustrated you have no idea. Its in the wrong spot for a cone & a tshirt rides too low. She sleeps in my room at night now and I do not sleep well, every little sound I wake up worried she is scratching. We make a few steps forward only for me to have to go to work and come home to her having undone what has been accomplished.

So today Tim and I fashioned this new outfit for her.

A pretty small collared shirt, a dress pin and lots of duck tape.

Oh yes and a pretty sock, snuggly duct taped in all the right places so not to fall off.

She is less than impressed, but neither am I so fair is fair!

Home Safe & Sound

She's home safe & sound....not very happy withe me though as she had to spend the night at the vet clinic...or that they shaved her face to remove a spot on there too. I told she is still the prettiest girl ever.

She did very well, they only had to sedate her and use local freezing to do the surgery. She is such a good girl to do things with.

Her pretty bandages have to be changed for the next few days and on Monday I can take the drain and she is good to go.

Why is it though that I could do all sorts of stuff when I worked at the vet clinic and even to any foster dogs I have.....but when it comes to my own dogs I get nervous and grossed out? Strange I know, but I will suck it up and do it.

She's Okay!!

Jenilee texted me the above picture after Sophie's surgery along with "I'm all good mom!"....I can breath now!

After a very long talk this morning with Sophie and what she could and could not do today at the vet, I think she finally paid attention to me for once. Her big lump is gone and from what I can tell in the little picture they took a small one off her face too that I noticed a few days ago.

Thanks Jenilee for the play by play this morning, greatly appreciated!!

Here We Go Again!

Sophie is going on Friday to have her lump removed. To say I am nervous and worried does not even touch how I feel. Nothing is ever easy with Sophie.

This will be attempt number three to have this done. First time was when she went in for her spay and they were going to just take it off at that time. Well a routine spay turned in to a big mess and attempt number one for Sophie to check out on me.

Attempt number two was when she had her tummy problems and they went in to find she had two holes in her intestine, after a very long surgery it was decided to leave it. Attempt number two to check out on me. And now I am starting to take it personally.

So Friday will attempt number three, no other procedures just the lump removal, she is healthly, happy, extra annoying and all her blood wook checked out well last time she was at the vet. I am nervous knowing her past history and even more nervous as it is not my regular vet. Luckily one the girls in rescue is going to watch some surgeries that day so I am going to pester her for minute by minute updates, lucky girl!

So from now until I have her home Friday night I will be a mess, so if I see you and I am grumpy, start crying for no reason or bite your head off, SORRY!!!! I do not do well with stress with it has to do with my furry kids.

TV Time

This is what happens when we watch TV in our house.

Zoey likes to sandwich between us....

Archie & Chloe like to snuggle

Zoey gets too hot after sandwiching and joins the doggy pile on Tim's lap.

Alfie & Sophie cuddle up close.

Jessi, well she is not really sure what to do.....notice how close she is to Tim though, this is a huge step for her!!

Where's Roxy?.....Snuggled up with me under a blanket. Too comfortable to disturb for pictures.

Momma's Girl

Roxy loves her Momma.....and her Momma loves her.

And no I did not set them up for this picture, I was doing the dishes and looked back to see them behind me...its too stinking cute the way they are together.

Momma's Boy #1

I found this today and it looks vaguely familiar to the picture in the previous post. My girl sure made some sweet boys.....and her 2 girls were pretty sweet too but the boys defiantly have their mom's personality.

The Other Momma's Boy

Paddy was here to visit for a few days, he loves his Momma too!

46 More Days!!

Sophie wants everyone to know she has been a good girl this year in hopes you will all tell Santa. I informed her trying to check out on me a few months ago does not make her a good girl, but since she is so sweet I will go with it.

She would also like some snow to roll in..... I again told her I did not agree, but I will take the snow over the stupid wind.

And for Christmas her mom would like a camera that does not give her devil eyes....

And yes that is a Christmas tree in the background, the Grinch even helped me put it up!!! Secretly I think he liked it too.

Visitor

Guess who's here to visit while his dad is away..... LOGAN!!!

He has not been here for awhile and I forgot just how much alike he and Sophie are....

I think he missed his momma.....

I know she missed him too, they have been playing and cuddling for 2 days straight now....

He is getting plenty of face washes too.

A walk in the park

With the nice weather this weekend we decided to take Sophie, Baylee and Jessi to Popson Park for a walk and a swim.

Sophie was her usual water loving self and would not stay out of the river.

Jessi much preferred to stay on the shore and watch what was going on, I am not sure she is used to going for walks but did great!

Baylee even decided to go into the water which was a first for her, usually she will only get her feet wet.

Sophie hopes the nice weather will stick around for awhile longer so she can get a few more swims in.

Jessi was exhausted by the time we left, we got to the top of the hill and she was already trying to go to sleep.

Fun In the Sun

I bought the dogs a pool today, Nik decided he should play in it too.... Casey was the only one patient enough to go in with him....



Can you tell how happy Casey is to be in there?

Poor Casey....

I told him if he just stood there it would be over soon enough....

He finally made his escape.

Roxy even tried but it was too cold.

Sophie finally came out and was more than happy to hang out in the pool, she wants to go swimming in the pond in the worst way but will not be able to do that for awhile so settled for the kiddy pool.

Sophie had her follow up appointment today, she has been doing great all weekend and Kendra the vet is very happy with her progress, and best of all the test results for the tissue samples came back and its not cancer!!!

Home....

I can honestly say I have never been this happy, my girl is home.....

The days ahead are filled with lots of pills, lots of some unfortunate temperature taking and a visit to Dr. Kendra again for more blood tests, but we do not mind (well Sophie minds the temperature part).

She is enjoying her new bed, following me everywhere and getting to have lots of wet food.

Did I mention how HAPPPYYYYYY I am!!!!

Doing Much Better!!!

Sophie says thank you everyone for you good thoughts she is feeling much better!!! She ate today, went for a walk and was happy. I tried to get a few pictures of her with my phone but the moment I moved she moved too, she was stuck to me like glue.

Her fever is gone and she is getting lots of antibiotics so they are thinking I may get to bring her home tomorrow. I am soooooo excited. Little Roxy will be happy too, she misses her Momma, she has been so sad the past few days.

Sophie's Home

Sophie got to come home today.

They are still not sure what is wrong but she is eating a bit now and able to keep it down so she was able to come home.

She is a bit happier than she was but still very sleepy.

Nurse Roxy is taking very good care of her.....